It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Randomize
