Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
