I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
