Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
