what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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