I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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