My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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