If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
