His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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