i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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