Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
