I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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