just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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