What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
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