Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
