we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
