The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
he wants to bone in the snuggie
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
