we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Randomize
