that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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