I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Randomize
