i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Randomize
