I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
