My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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