They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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