when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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