HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
