It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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