he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
