Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
