Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
