Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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