We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Randomize
