She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
did i just pee glitter
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
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