Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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