i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
