Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize