I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
