it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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