i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
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