She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
The feeling are messing with the penis
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize