ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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