Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Randomize
