If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
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