i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Dignity is for republicans.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Randomize
