im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
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