did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
