i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I just found a bag of teeth...
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize