I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
