what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
