i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize
