in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
