i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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