I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
