I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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