i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
