I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
