and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
