he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
