Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Randomize
