Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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