Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
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