I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
