He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
