well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Randomize