let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
