sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I want to have your abortion
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize