Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
