I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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