Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
hell yes lets make some ravioli
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
