his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
There r osticjed everywhere
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
