So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize