I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
