I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
