it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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