Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Quick, to the slutcave!
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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