Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
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