You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
