Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
