her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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