I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
She told me I should be a condom model.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
