The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
