And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
