he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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