This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
this boner is exhausting
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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