Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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