WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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