Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize